5 Game Characters Who Should Be Rector

Sick of being accosted by Rector Campaigners on Library Hill? Me too. A campaigner almost punched me in the face with a Snowden flyer today, screaming with bloodshot eyes that “I DESERVE PRIVATE E-MAILS DAMMIT!” I moved on, not wanting to get into an argument while I was already late for class, but I couldn’t help but think to myself just how… belittling it is that Edward Snowden is a genuine candidate for Glasgow University Rector.

On that note, let’s talk about game characters who should be Rector.

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Big Fat Urban Myths

I fucking love an urban myth. They’re great conversation starters, ice breakers and friendship cementers. We’ve all heard them, usually starting with the classic: “my pal’s brother’s second cousin”, or “no, no seriously it’s actually my mate’s mate!” Here’s a list of some of my favourites:

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How To Create a Hunger Games Video Game

[Warning: Possible Spoilers Ahead]

It seems only inevitable that a Hunger Games Video Game is going to come out sooner or later, what with how Suzanne Collins’ cash-cow has begun to moo indignantly every time somebody mentions the decision to turn the final book – Mockingjay – into two movies. However with the somewhat lacklustre games sitting on the next-gen shelf of G-Force or Game shops, a well-designed Hunger Games video game (HGVG) could be so damn cool!

So here are the 7 things a HGVG would need to be good.

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Noobus Humanus: Next-Gen Edition

Last year I brought my girlfriend away from rare playthroughs of The Sims and tried to get her as grossly involved with video games as I am. Her introduction to games like Spyro the Dragon and Bioshock Infinite was pretty successful, even leading her to go on, finish Bioshock Infinite, and then cosplay as Elizabeth Comstock for Halloween.

Now it’s a new year, a new generation of consoles, and a new batch of tech and games are ready for her to play. So ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to Megan Crampsey – the noobus humanus and today’s study.

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A Different Look at the ‘Copyrightalypse’

Let’s get this out of the way: Youtube – for all of the cool videos and channels it’s home to – is made up primarily of game analysis, reviews, news and playthroughs. It’s one of the reasons why I love the website so much. The best way to critique video games is by using footage from a playthrough for analysis. Like using quotes in literary analysis, it provides evidence for the many outlandish theories which come about from interpretative fiction.

But Youtube has begun to pull videos from gaming channels like AngryJoeShow and PewDiePie under quote-unquote ‘copyright infringement.’ Because these channels have been using footage from their video game playthroughs, Youtube has been ‘acting on behalf of game companies,’ to flag these videos, and has recently introduced a new automated system which rifles through every single video uploaded to Youtube very, very, very slowly searching for gameplay videos. That means that Youtubers such as Philip DeFranco (who does not review or critique video games, but runs a Monday – Thursday current events show) will have to wait up to five days to get his video approved by Youtube. Youtube Creators whose content isn’t game related will also be affected by this change. A video below by Youtuber Angry Joe goes into how it affects personal livelihoods, it’s pretty sickening.

 Okay, so you’re up to speed.

But here’s the question: who does a video game playthrough really belong to?

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The Meryl Dilemma

Despite its consistent praise and adoration by fans, Hideo Kojima’s Metal Gear Solid series has often come under flack for its portrayal of women. Recently, the sexualisation of the female sniper Quiet in the upcoming Metal Gear Solid 5 has been deemed unnecessary titillation, being condemned to the extent that Kojima felt the need to make a statement about his reasons behind her revealing outfit.

Yet, it’s quite interesting that many feminist gamers seem to like the character of Meryl Campbell in MGS4. She’s cocky, hardy, independent, and completely obsessed with belittling Old Snake’s power fantasy. It is argued that she is as an example of a strong female character in games.

I completely disagree.



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The Art of Awfullness: Postal

A long time ago I bought Postal 2 from the Steam Store, and it is only recently – in the wake of my Playstation 3 breaking – that I got an opportunity to sit down and play it. For the scarce few out there who don’t know what Postal is, it’s hands down one of the most awful games ever created – which is the point. You play as the Postal Dude. He’s an everyday sunglasses-indoors-wearing, douche-bag-beard-growing sociopath. He’s the stereotypical Call of Duty player, and his actions in the Postal series aren’t dissimilar to those undertaken by Grand Theft Auto protagonists.

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Top 5 Games of the Generation

This generation I’ve had the pleasure of both the Xbox 360, Playstation 3 and the Wii. At launch, I was gifted my Xbox 360 as a Christmas present with copies of Halo 3, Assassin’s Creed 1 and Viva Piñata, and then bought my Playstation 3 in a boxing day sale a few years after. I feel it’s only fitting with the next generation suddenly upon us that I do the inevitable categorisation of my favourite current-gen games from the past few years.

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Video Game Citation and Academia

It’s just past Hand-in Month now. Everyone’s essays have been filed away under the categories of ‘Queer Theory,’ ‘Racism,’ ‘Socio-economics,’ ‘Advertising,’ and much, much more. Trees will have been cut down for the hallowed citations, references and bibliographies which prevent students from getting kicked out of university and forced to find a real job, and we’re all just twiddling our thumbs until we get them back now.

But the source of our references, our background research, is extremely interesting.

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Where Did All The Gays Go?

Enough about sexism in video games; that debate is swamping the industry left, right and centre. The real debate – or at least, the one we should be having – is why there is such a lack of homosexual protagonists in video games. In fact – there aren’t any.

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