Riding the Waves of Independence

The International Surf Association’s World Surfing Games (there is a lot of “surf” in that title) are being held in Peru this year. Typically, similar to the Olympics, we are represented in these well-publicised and extremely hyped games by a Team GB – accepting only the finest riders of waves from all over our great British isles. It has been so for the last two decades.

This year sees a sea change as Team GB has been broken apart: separatists within the ranks have declared independence and set up their own new Scottish team, making it the first time a Scots-only group has competed on the world stage in twenty years.

Yes, if Scotland v England football games do not provide you with enough cross-Hadrian’s Wall heckling then simply flick the channel over to Sky Sports Surfing and watch as we splash fuck out of our once proud teammates. One can only imagine how wet Alex Salmond must be at the prospect of sending Team rUK homeward tae dry themselves again.

The six surfing Scots were selected at the Scottish National Surfing Championships in Thurso in March. I mean, the clue was right there in the name!

Team member and cybernat (probably) Mark Boyd said: “We are all really excited about going to represent Scotland on the world stage – it’s a great thing for Scottish surfing to be competing at an international level.”

He continued: “Being on the world stage will help raise the profile and push up the standard of surfing in Scotland for years to come.”

Freed from the shackles of Westminster oppression (that’s where the surfing Team GB are based, right?), Scotland the Wave can once again be a proud and strong nation. No more will people associate us with knife crime and fried foods; thanks to these brave, progressive, forward thinking socialist surfers Scotland can flourish. Taps aff, lads – I’m off down the Clyde for a spot of surfing.

[Scott Wilson – @HeartofFire]

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