Star Wars – A Newb Hope

“There’s been an awakening… Have you felt it?” asks an ambiguous, ominous voice.

…Honestly? I can’t say I have. As someone who has never watched a single Star Wars film, nor knows anything about the franchise other than the fact that there are a bunch of robots, a wee green man and some serious daddy issues, the news that there would be a new Star Wars film out in 2015 went over my head faster than one of those big spaceship thingies. So who offered to review the release of a 90 seconds teaser trailer for the next instalment in the saga? Me, of course.

The trailer for Episode VII – The Force Awakens starts by looking out over a barren desert (or planet? I guess?) before a very startled man jumps up from the ground. Then, what looks like a football but I assume is a robot, is seen running away from something – most likely the same thing that spooked the guy before. Evidently, all is not well in space. In case you hadn’t picked up on that, the brass instruments playing tension-inducing music in the background should give it away.

But then, MORE ROBOTS! Seriously, is this film just about robots? Now I really want to watch Wall-E. Wait, no, the ominous voice from the beginning is back, and he’s saying something about the dark side. Meanwhile, some dude in a hooded cloak is getting ready to fight someone in a seemingly empty forest, but he has a lightsaber, so it looks quite cool.

Finally, a REALLY big spaceship narrowly avoids crashing into some not-as-big-but-super-fast spaceships, and you’re left questioning if the guy piloting this thing is really the right guy for the job – I know it looks cool, but c’mon guys, safety first.

All in all, I’m yet to be convinced that I’ve been missing out having not watched any of the previous films, but maybe spaceships and robots just aren’t my thing. Regardless, people seem to be really excited about the arrival of a new Star Wars film, so maybe by the time it’s released in December 2015, I’ll have been converted – I guess we’ll wait and see.

[Hannah Burke – @hannahcburke_]

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