A recent study from Heriott-Watt University has discovered a correlation between the types of music people listen to and their personality. For example, pop music fans tend to be hard working and have high self-esteem, while rock fans are creative and introverted. We at qmunicate have conducted our own extremely serious and scientific study to find out what your Spotify playlists say about you.
Rap: 50/50 chance you’re either pretty cool or a white boy who wears a snapback the wrong way round and uses the n word as ‘banter’.
Reggae: 50/50 chance you’re either pretty cool or a white boy with dreadlocks who owns many elaborately shaped bongs and only ever talks about weed.
Jazz: You are a dad and 45 and wear a lot of tweed.
Country: You post a lot of memes on Facebook arguing that either John Deere or Massey Ferguson are the superior make of tractor. You take this very seriously.
Deep House: You know the ‘eccied da’ sketch from Limmy’s Show? That’s you.
Indie: Your cardigan collection is extensive.
Emo: You pretend it’s a phase that you went through at 13 and are now over but you only have to hear the first note of ‘Welcome to the Black Parade’ to be stood on a table, drink in hand, screaming “WHEN I WAS/A YOUNG BOY/MY FATHER/ TOOK ME INTO THE CITY” thick black eyeliner suddenly, magically all over your eyes.
Classical: Makes you feel very sophisticated when you’re desperately rushing to finish an essay at 3am.
RnB: You’ve made an extensive playlist titled only with the winky emoji for when ‘Important Guests’ come over. For some reason when it’s on at a crucial moment your iTunes will fuck up and start playing the Harry Potter audiobooks narrated by Stephen Fry instead.
Classic Rock: Any time someone puts on a Beyonce song you talk at length about ‘real music’ to someone who isn’t listening to you.
Beyonce: You say ‘yaaaaaaaaaass’ a lot.
The Proclaimers: You’re either incredibly Scottish or you’re English and doing it ironically.
White Men Covering RnB songs but making them Slow and Emotional: Get in the bin.
White girls with breathy voices covering indie songs in Christmas adverts: Join them in the bin.
Coldplay: You are objectively wrong.
[Clare Patterson- @clurrpatterson]