This may be an unpopular opinion, but the rainbow food trend we’re seeing all over Instagram, or the ‘Top 30 Rainbow Foods You Need To Try’ listicles that plague our Facebook feeds? It’s gross, and needs to be stopped. I’m all for rainbow dyed cakes and sweet things (to an extent – this rainbow cake was just fucking unnecessary), but when it comes to dyed savoury food, I’m out. Who looked at a cheese toastie and thought: “you know what would make this better? If it looked kinda mouldy and tasted like artificial shit”. Yes, people are actually making cheese toasties and filling them with rainbow food colouring. We’ve all been there: accidentally putting far too much food colouring in your icing to try and get that perfect shade of red, only to realise it now both tastes and looks like shit. Now, imagine purposefully doing that to normal, already perfectly appetising food. To learn more about this stupid trend, I looked up some rainbow coloured savoury food and, to be honest, I’m not even angry – I’m just disappointed.
Look at this toastie. It looks like it’s been filled with a child’s vomit:
And this fucking abomination:
And this… well, this is just plain awful:
I absolutely adore cooking, so normally, I’d hop straight onto any food-related trend. But I’m sorry, this is just too much. If I can make my food look really cool and yummy without ruining its taste, or making it look disgusting, then great! But all evidence points towards this being a total food-ruiner – and do you even want to imagine what it might do to your poop?
Green burgers, red French toast, multi-coloured macaroni? Why is any of this necessary? Food is great, and so are rainbows, but the last thing I want to do is tuck into a rainbow coloured bagel that looks like shit and tastes like half a bottle of food colouring. Why are you doing this to your food? Why must we play God? Food is tasty and pretty without weird dyes and a slightly metallic taste, so please. Just stop it.
[Chloe Tobin-Kemmer – @CTobinKemmer]
Images: Grill My Cheese/LondonUniBoy/Instagram