A Half-Englishwoman, a Belgian and an Italian Walk Into a Greggs…

After the shocking discovery that the contents of a Greggs’ bakery do not make up part of the food pyramid, and even more shockingly, that there were people amongst us who had never been to a Greggs in their life, qmunicate embarked on some serious investigative journalism, and sent three Greggs-virgins along to the nation’s favourite sausage roll producer to assess just what all the fuss is about. Here are their verdicts…

“Greggs is great!”, “Greggs is a national treasure”, and “nothing cures a hangover like a Greggs’ sausage roll”– these were just a few of the many praises that would be sang to me as people expressed shock and horror when I told them I had never been to a Greggs before. As someone who had never lived in the UK before moving to university, this mystical shop just looked like a regular, boring sandwich place. I couldn’t understand the hype. “There’s one on every corner, how special could they be?”, I thought.

I bought the BBQ chicken roll and a sugar glazed donut with sprinkles. Then, the infamous moment came. What was going to happen? What if I didn’t like my roll? Would I be shunned by my Scottish friends? Would I have to renounce by British nationality?

With all these worrisome thoughts running through my brain, I tentatively took a bite of my roll and…it was delicious! Huzzah! The donut was also nice, containing the kind of diabetes inducing sugary goodness that makes my knees weak. Altogether it came to about £1.50, a total bargain compared to the sandwiches available on campus.

At last, I can understand why Greggs is so popular. Though it’s no culinary wonder, it’s convenient, cheap and tasty: what more could you want?

BBQ Chicken Roll: [4/5]

Sugar Glazed Donut with Sprinkles: [3/5]

[Yasmina Todd]

Despite my close friends and their Snapchat stories trying to convince me of how good Greggs is, I did not understand the fascination people shared for the infamous bakery. That is, until I tried it for the first time. In order to have a complete, fulfilling Greggs experience, I decided to get both something savoury and something sweet. I had such high expectations that my only reaction while eating the steak bake was merely a muffled “This is not so bad”. The chocolate muffin was definitely my favourite, but it should be noted that I am partial to any kind of chocolate so this might not be a totally unbiased review. Overall, I walked out of Greggs a bit unsatisfied. I could have never imagined what was going to happen in the next few days though: instead of my go-to Tesco sandwich, I was now craving Greggs cuisine! Maybe it was something in that crispy, delicious pastry, or maybe time had just changed my mind. What I do know though, is that now I will never spend three pounds on an overrated ready meal anymore, because I know that a Greggs’ sausage roll will always be there, waiting for me.

Steak Bake: [3/5]

Chocolate Muffin: [5/5]

[Luigi Gravili]

I never realised Greggs was a big deal until I was asked to review it. It doesn’t look like any bakery we have in Europe, and as a vegetarian, I wasn’t intrigued by the notorious reputation of its sausage rolls. But, after over a year in the UK, I finally walked into Greggs full of excitement and high expectations. The range of options I could choose from was a bit underwhelming: only a cheese and onion pasty or a cheese and onion roll? But I was promised a macaroni pie! I probably couldn’t hide my disappointment when I ordered my cheese and onion pasty. Although I’m genetically predisposed to despise onions above all else, I was pleasantly surprised by my savoury option.

However, tears fill my eyes at the memory of the sweet option I chose, and not in a good way. After I read the word “pineapple” followed by “cake”, nothing could put me off. Not the unnatural colour, nor the unnatural shape, not even the haunting warnings of my friends. That pineapple cake had to be mine. But, as I try to recall the facts to form a coherent review, horrible flashbacks of me trying to manage one last bite of that yellow calorific bomb from hell suggests to me that maybe I don’t want to remember.

Cheese and Onion Pasty: [3/5]

Pineapple Cake: [0/5]

[Ludovica Credendino]

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: