Top Five… Most Brexit Things to Have Happened Since We Brexited

  1. Toblerone Gap-tastrophe

In light of rising costs of ingredients, Toblerone have made the decision to reduce the weight of the bar to maintain the same price; though, considering the absolute state of my Facebook timeline, I’m sure you’re all already aware of the sanctity of the Toblerone. Sure, the plans to wreck the design were put in place pre-Brexit, but it was, like, definitely Brexit.

  1. Terry’s Chocolate Satsuma

Listen, what I’m saying here is that Brexit stole Christmas. A vital aspect of my Christmas stocking has been tampered with. Under the new owners, the chocolate delight has been reduced from 175g to 157g in weight: a shocking ten percent decrease in size. Again, this is supposedly due to the rising cost of ingredients which can mean only one thing: totally Brexit.

  1. Mar-might have been off the shelves?

One of Tesco’s largest suppliers stopped deliveries after a disagreement over the prices of products. Unilever had been attempting to raise prices by as much as 10%, in line with the decreasing value of the pound (specifically in relation to the dollar and euro). For those of you that actually care about Marmite, you may remember the fateful day of the great Marmite shortage. Fret not, however, as Tesco fought for your rights as a Marmite eater, and the terror passed.

  1.  Talking rug wears poppy

There was real life controversy over the Cookie Monster’s appearance on the One Show. The Cookie Monster was seen wearing a poppy during his interview, as did the rest of the people on screen. Did it trivialise what the poppy means? Would there have been controversy had he not worn it? I couldn’t tell you, yet I am able to tell you that Basil Brush (yes) expressed his pride in wearing the poppy during his appearance on The Last Leg. Fucking hell.

  1.  What’s the EU?

But perhaps the Brexitiest Brexit thing to have happened post-Brexit was the outrageously massive rise in people Googling “What is the EU?” mere hours after the polls closed on the night of the referendum. Couldn’t have done that, like, twenty minutes before voting, maybe?
[Éirinn Fitzgerald]

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