Top 5 Makeshift Sex Toys


1. Clothes Pegs These bad boys don’t just hold up your clothes; they can be used after the clothes hit the floor too. Spice things up by nipping each other’s bodies to get the blood flowing, or use them as nipple clamps to tease your partner if kink is your thing. Challenge each other see who can wear and bear the most; the winner gets an extra sexy surprise.

2. Your Vegetable Drawer The vegetable drawer of your fridge is a veritable treasure trove of sex toys. Start off small with a baby carrot and work your way up to a big bad aubergine. Make sure to use a condom though, so you don’t get any veggie bits in your bits.  And most importantly, don’t insert any veg into your anus – courgettes do not have flares on the end to stop them disappearing up your bum, and you don’t want that visit to accident and emergency! When used safely though, getting freaky with a leek is definitely one of the sexiest ways to get your five a day.

3. A Screwdriver Make like Big Boo and opt for a solo screw. Why not reach into your Litchfield toolbox and see what other erotic delights await. Just make sure not to insert the sharp end!

4. A Hairbrush Think of it as the multipurpose tool of the sex toy world, and also your new best friend. Run the bristles over your body for a bit of prickly fun, or use the flat side as a cheeky spanking paddle, if you want make things a little saucier. And of course, you could repurpose the handle as a fun and convenient dildo. Just be sure to wash it before lending it to your flatmate.

5. The Vacuum Cleaner For a sexy suck, why not give ol’ Henry a try? Remove any attachments and slowly bring the nozzle towards you for an unforgettable experience. If the suction is too much too handle, try it over underwear and experiment with different distances. Let your imagination run wild – just don’t put your dick in it.

[Ross Hackson]

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