Top 5… Artists We Want to Tour in 2037


Dig out your low rise jeans, don the spangliest crop top you can get your hands on and pretend Paris Hilton is still being photographed answering calls on a diamante flip phone… Steps and The Vengaboys are touring this year, giving us grounds to temporarily re-inhabit the glory years of the late 90s/early 2000s. Steps celebrate their twentieth birthday in May and, in honour of their 2017 tour, we started thinking about which artists from recent times (active or inactive) we want to see tour again two decades from now.

1. One Direction

If One Direction reunite we hope it’ll be in the floppy-haired, chino-clad capacity that marked their beginnings. It’s probably safe to assume any tour will be sans Zayn, though, because things are still tense between the boys. If 1D’s numbers dwindle further, a reunion tour will look a lot like that time S Club 7 became S Club 3. And that was just sad. Maybe in twenty years One Direction too will be performing in student unions up and down the country?

2. Hannah Montana

Look, Miley is much happier now that she doesn’t operate within the squeaky-clean Disney machine. That’s grand. But can’t she resurrect Hannah for a one-off tour in twenty years’ time? We want to know how she’s doing. Maybe she’s still performing now? Perhaps Miley’s alter ego has an alter ego, in a kind of alter ego inception? Anyway, Miley, you can afford to bring Hannah back for one last hurrah. Let us have the best of both worlds.

3. Sia

Sia has written and performed some of this decade’s most recognisable songs, which is reason enough to want to see her in 2037. It’ll also be interesting to see whether she’s still sporting her impressively large fringe. Impressively large fringes might be en vogue in 2037. It’s possible that none of us will actually see Sia, thanks to our impressively large fringes.

4. Girls Aloud, or maybe the Saturdays  

It’s time to concede that we’re not getting the Spice Girls reunion we begged for. Nonetheless, girl bands are fab, so if one or both of these currently inactive bands – who enjoyed sustained popularity throughout the 2010s – decide to reform, that’d be pretty cool.

5. Pitbull

Pitbull got really famous around 2010 and then spawned a load of memes. Just imagine the quality of memes in twenty years, guys.

 

[Morgan Laing – @sm4shingpumpk1n]

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