A: Ashton Lane
A cobblestoned alley of cute cocktail bars, Ashton Lane is the epitome of the West End aesthetic. If you are looking for a chill night or somewhere different to pre-drink, then Ashton Lane is the place to be.
B: Boyd Orr
A bastion of brutalism, this is the most divisive building in Glasgow. When Milo Yiannopolous expressed his wish to tear it down when he ran for rector, the issue became explosive, inspiring beautiful memes and impassioned discourse.
C: Clockwork Orange (Glasgow Subway)
Glasgow’s Clockwork Orange solves an issue that has eluded the creators of the London Tube and the Parisian Metro: it is straightforward. Thus you cannot get lost, since all the trains go in a circle.
D: Deep fried
Mars bars, pizzas, Oreos, haggis, chips, eggs, sausage, black pudding, white pudding, boneless king ribs…you name it, Glasgow can deep fry it, and your hangover banquet is served.
You know you’re a student when your essay is due in seven minutes, you have a couple of online references to locate and then…the Wi-Fi stops working. Raise your glass to Eduroam, the most unreliable Wi-Fi ever.
F: Flying Duck
Tucked away from the busy city centre is an underground world of Buckfast tacos, milkshake cocktails and a regular vegan fete. Enter on 142 Renfield Street and head downstairs to see for yourself.
G: Glasgow Film Theatre
Have you ever watched a film in a listed building? The Glasgow Film Theatre (GFT to locals and lovers from afar) has a diverse programming of over 600 films a year and is the self-declared home of film in Glasgow. With everything from themed double bills to Q&As to the annual Glasgow Film Festival, the GFT is a cinephile’s paradise.
It’s sweaty, it’s tight, it’s absolutely shite.
I: Inn Deep
Tucked underneath Great Western Bridge is Inn Deep: home to craft beer, live poetry and – best of all – lots of dogs. The pub boasts a beer garden alongside the River Kelvin – perfect on a (rare) sunny day.
It’s October 2017. After moving from deepest southern England, you have happily settled into uni and have a part-time job at Barbecue Kings to fund your Barbecue Kings habit. ‘A can of juice, mate,’ a customer says. Do they want fresh orange juice, in a can? Irn Bru? Strongbow Dark Fruits? Every liquid is juice here. Welcome to Scotland.
K: Kelvingrove Museum and Art Gallery
Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum is situated just across from the park from campus and contains all sorts of exhibits, from European art collections to detailed exhibitions. Make sure to listen to the daily organ recitals at 1pm. And best of all, the museum is free to enter!
L: Loch Lomond
Yes, you’re living in the biggest city in Scotland, but we’re also very close to some of the most gorgeous countryside. Loch Lomond and the Trossachs are but 40 minutes from Partick: take the train to Balloch for under a fiver for a day away from the city.
M: Mother India
The best Indian restaurant in Glasgow, Scotland and (probably) India. There is a café (including take away!) and a sit-in restaurant in the west end. Definitely one to impress the folks with.
Yes, it’s an old cemetery, yes, it’s a great day out, no, we’re not a bunch of goths. Just outside the city centre (albeit the east end of the city), the necropolis is full of history and beautiful views of Glasgow.
Found on Byres Road, Oxfam bookshop is the ideal place to find an inexpensive gem of reading material. In typical Glaswegian style, it is also nigh-on impossible to walk away from the till without having a conversation covering everything from what you are studying to the unpredictable riddle of Scottish weather. It is also a convenient place to search for cheaper second-hand copies of course texts, though we recommend you get there quick before another undergrad grabs it first. And let us not forget that it is a charity, in case you need to justify your obsession for buying books.
Like any city, these vile vermin on wings love to fly into your face as you are walking home from the club and defecate on your cheesy chips. Recently they have become more stubborn, refusing to move out of your way when they are in your path. We can’t help but respect their rebellious attitude.
In case you have not heard of it, the Queen Margaret Union is the greatest union in the universe. No exceptions. Originally set up as the women’s union as a reaction the GUU’s male-only policy for membership, the QMU prides itself on its welcoming and all-inclusive environment, as well as its Pints of Heaven.
R: Rennie Mackintosh
A local historic figure, Mackintosh was the architect who designed some of Glasgow’s most iconic art nouveau buildings, including the Willow Tearooms, Glasgow School of Art and The Lighthouse (now a fascinating museum dedicated to him – remember this when your parents visit you and you have no idea where to take them)
S: Sauchiehall Street
The beautiful street that runs through the city centre, containing shops, bars, clubs, cafes, clubs, supermarkets and clubs. It is a certainty you will tackle its ascent when you are walking home and off your face. Useful tip: if you are going out in Sauchiehall Street, don’t wear high heels.
T: Tonic Wine (i.e. Buckfast)
The Glasgow equivalent of nectar for the gods, imbibing Bucky at pres has one advantage over other drinks: you will not remember doing the shameful things the day after, even when people explain in vivid detail.
Glasgow has lots of them; University of Glasgow, Strathclyde University, Glasgow Caledonian, The Royal Conservatoire of Scotland, Glasgow School of Art, University of West Scotland – the city is teeming with students. Rivalries are heated but generally friendly, and we have one of the best student scenes in Britain, with club nights, vintage fairs, gigs, student offers, and numerous fantastic student venues including the QMU, GUU and the super cool Art School.
V: Vagina Stone
Better known as the Stone Vagina, this suggestively shaped sculpture outside the Gregory Building is at the centre of a Glasgow Uni tradition. If you’re feeling a bit rough after Freshers’ week, simply climb through the Stone Vagina, and be reborn fresh, new and ready to get back on it.
W: Women’s Library
The only accredited museum in the UK dedicated to women’s history, Glasgow’s Women Library runs workshops, talks and events covering the history of women in Glasgow, Scotland and beyond. They also have a permanent library and achieve, frequent arts and culture exhibitions, and cosy places to read and relax with free tea and coffee in the kitchen
X: Club X (Polo)
A very spicy secret room in iconic Glasgow gay club Polo, complete with showers, lots of smoke, and various sex equipment of questionable usage. The rest of Polo is also very good, and has more cheesy tunes and fewer sex swings, for the less BDSM inclined.
Y: Yes Bar
Originally Vespbar, it was renamed in the run up to the 2014 independence referendum to show the owners’ support for the Scottish Independence ‘Yes’ campaign. The name has stuck, and the bar has become a classic haunt for pro-independence types, with prosecco on tap and 45% off for any member of a pro-independence party.
Z: Zoology Museum
The Hunterian Zoology museum is located in the campus Zoology Building to the east of the main building. It’s a lovely quiet place to spend a couple of hours during a hectic day on campus – an ideal break from a packed timetable or a day in the library – has some very nice fossils, and provides something beginning with Z to round off our Glasgow Alphabet!
[Amy Shimmin, Liam Caldwell, Clare Patterson]