In It For The Long Haul


Here are some typical challenges that you may face in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR): lack of physical contact, lack of shared experience, lack of communication, lack of trust etc. Ask anyone on the street and they will most likely speak of it as if it is the new plague. Maybe you can pull it off somehow though, they would say, but you can most definitely sense sympathy and pity in their eyes.

See, it’s probably 99% true that long distance is like the Black Death for any relationship. I would not dare to claim anything otherwise because I face the above mentioned challenges almost daily. So why am I doing it? As cheesy as it sounds, I do it for love.

What I learned and still am learning about my cross-continent LDR is this: love is a religion and lovers have to be its faithful followers, or else it turns into a pile of deadly weapons and consumes you inside out. Forgive my emotive language, but perhaps anyone who has done LDR would understand what I mean. After all, any healthy relationship in general is based on mutual trust and respect. LDR is no exception. Only difference is that LDR requires you to put all your might into caressing your mutual trust or else it won’t flourish at all. It thrives on positivity, when fear is eliminated and converted into a deep caring for one another. It withers with negativity, doubt and jealousy. So yes, love is faith. Once I realized that, LDR became something more tangible. I still can’t physically touch my partner, ironically, but I can feel my faith and theirs.

All the fuzzy words aside, having love and faith is merely the fundamental requirement for LDR. Besides that, it will need a lot of work. Communication is your most valuable tool. Thoughtfulness gives you all the extra marks. Most importantly, you need to have an end game because eventually you will want to move on to the next stage. Don’t worry, with the right person you will get there eventually. You just need patience and determination.

And what happens if even the most beautiful LDR ends? I often tell myself that living in the present is what really counts. The future is even more untouchable than my partner on the computer screen, so why shouldn’t I focus on what’s right in front of me instead? If you cared for and loved that person, those memories will be with you for life.

[Nini Huang]

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