Shite Band Names: an Epidemic

I’ll start off by saying that shite band names are typically features of highly successful bands. Also, I really, really don’t want to be responsible for the downfall of one band because I have lambasted their band name (not a nice thought) but I think it’s worth saying that there needs to be some kind of guidelines on shite band names. Like, what constitutes a terrible name? Where do we draw the line between what is an acceptable name and what isn’t? What impact does it have on society? Without further ado, let’s get to it!

This is probably the most common format of a band name, and one that will permit anything. You could have “Marina and the Diamonds” which makes perfect sense, since Marina’s last name is Diamandis. Christine and the Queens is another great one, because, as any queer person will know, she created the name after Heloise became Christine when she became friends with two drag queens on a night out in London. Both singers go by their own names “Marina” and “Chris” now (although, Christine’s name is actually ‘Heloise’). But there is a continuum of band names that fall under this category, ranging from the well thought-out ones, to those that plainly don’t make any sense.

But ‘Shite Band Names’ are different. These names are so bizarre, so rogue, that they can’t even be called shite names anymore. Death Cab for Cutie is one of them – I have absolutely no idea what ‘Death Cab for Cutie’ is supposed to mean, but that’s the beauty of it – you just use your imagination, and it can mean different things to different people. King Princess is another one – while not exactly a band, she is a singer who deserves a special mention . The 1975 – another name which just doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense. The Receiving End of Sirens is another – I honestly think that some bands just go ahead and clump completely unrelated words and phrases together and hope for the best. ‘The Sound of Animals Fighting’ is another one, and I would describe their music as mild alternative rock, which doesn’t really fit with their strange name. I think that this all started with Panic! At The Disco, whose name is so strange, but who set the precedent for an array of completely absurd names to fall under the radar. First Aid Kit is another one – a shite name, if you want me to be honest, but actually their nice, soothing lullaby country music is like a ‘first aid kit’ for your heart; I love them, even if they have an absurd name.

This has been an enlightening journey. Not every band with a shite name is shite, and not every shite band has a shite name. I may have mentioned quite a few here, but most bands with a shite name have escaped my wrath, simply because there are too many to count. I think it is important to remember that you can name your band whatever you want, but you will be judged for it if it is bizarre enough.

[Jasmine Urquhart – @snazzyjazzy1997]

[Image credit: deepskyobject/]

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