Cupid and Corona

Lipstick, curls, a flattering strappy top, and pyjama bottoms– that’s what I’d wear while sitting in front of my webcam during a Covid-19 edition of speed dating. I came across this speed dating event advertised to take place on Zoom rather than in-person. What a weird concept, I thought. I didn’t like seeing how the current regulations around social distancing were meddling with love. But the more I pondered over the idea, the more I started to warm up to it.

Dating etiquette benefits from Cupid’s exile to the virtual realm, especially in regard to first dates. Just think about it: compared to an in-person rendezvous, a video call brushes off the troublesome scout for the perfect place to come together. It also eliminates the potential awkwardness surrounding who’ll pay, and it steers clear of the predicament when you can’t decide between running away from a nightmare date or staying out of courtesy. A video date allows you to get to know one another from the comfort of your own home. This means you can gallantly abort a bad date any time if you wish. Another great thing is that meeting up virtually saves you money, which means no more frustration about wasting coins on a disastrous first date. 

Of course, you wouldn’t be hoping for the worst-case scenario; you’d want the first date to turn out well-done with a pinch of flirty. Ideally, the first date should end with the prospect of a second date. For the next time, you could cautiously suggest meeting in person. Nothing speaks against checking each other out in person as long as you wear a mask and respect social distancing. You may not be able to play musical chairs until you sit on your crush’s lap, and subtly touching each other won’t be an option to communicate your affection. Nevertheless, physically-distanced dating doesn’t suck entirely, and the fun of your courting game shouldn’t be curbed too much. Consider the benefit of wearing a mask and safeguarding an appropriate distance: no bad breath can get between you and your sweetheart.

When you finally decide that nothing speaks against getting juicier with your match – apart from a two-metre distance – you enter the final round of dating, the endgame so to speak. This is the point where you’re only one bra hook away from moving things into the bedroom. Surely, Covid-19 can’t be the reason why humans stop mating, can it? It’d be quite the unforeseen way for society to go extinct. However, government guidelines don’t acknowledge sex as a valid exemption from the Covid restrictions. According to them, you are only allowed the physical pleasures of dating once you’ve moved in together. So, from here onwards, it looks like you have two options about how to proceed with your date. Either you contain your sexual keenness, or you call it a serious commitment. I really hope this isn’t a deal-breaker for you!

The dating world may render a bit unusual right now, but don’t let this keep you from enjoying the experience. Don’t let a pandemic stop you from connecting with the beautiful people around you. Physical distancing doesn’t mean that your heart can’t embrace a tingling flirt or romantic intimacy. You’re still encouraged to spread love, just not the virus. Who knows, your big love might show up at the next Zoom speed dating event.

PS While exploring these novel ways of dating, don’t forget to share your spiciest corona-themed pick-up lines.

[Ricarda Senger – she/her – rikkisdiary.com]

[Image Credit: Colin D @ccbotanic]

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